hope.

charlie and i met nette at the airport when she arrived from the US last night.  it was surreal, to finally meet her in person.  she spent the night at my box of a home, and met my mom.  we talked about the doctor's assessments of her mom's condition.  i'm worried for tita L. 

i feel guilty i wasn't able to spend time with her the last time i was in cebu.  she had been wanting to see me.  and now, she's in critical condition.  tita considers me a daughter.  i teased nette last night that i am her mom's favorite daughter. 

i hope tita will feel better soon.  and i hope that her family will stay strong. 

i want to live there.

how do you start to describe a world where everything is so beautiful, you actually would want to live there?   enchanting and magical are understatements. 

diving in open water for the first time was truly overwhelming.  i was feeling too many emotions all at the same time — scared, excited, happy, worried.  i was mostly scared.  it is fear of the unknown.  the deep blue is a mysterious place.  i haven't been there, i don't know how to swim, and the possibility of drowning scares me.  and it is precisely why i want to dive — to conquer my fear. 

and i'm glad i did. 

we made four dives over the weekend.  and although i was very scared the first two dives, i relaxed and enjoyed the last two.  i finally got it — controlling my breathing so i could be neutrally bouyant underwater.  my dive buddies were so proud of me because i could be bouyant underwater, without moving, in one position.  "you looked like superman flying, except that you weren't moving," ariel told me.  that was when i was looking at some really beautiful corals.

ah, the corals.  and the fishes of different sizes and colors.  and the giant clams!  i didn't dare go near.  imagine a giant clam suddenly close its shell and your fins get trapped!  that is, if you're lucky.  what if it were your hands?  =P  everything was beautiful, one can't help but have the urge to gently touch them.  but since they are beautiful, you also want to just leave them alone so they will not get destroyed or disturbed.

i have a newfound respect for everything that lives underwater.  they are miracles.  like rainbows.  like rain.  like friends.

diving and dreaming.

we all passed our diving final exams, my friends and i.  on weekend, we will have our open water dive.  i'm excited.  i'm already thinking whether i'll take the advance course or take underwater photography specialty course.  although i'm not really sure if i should go into underwater photography. 

photography, this hobby, is getting too expensive, it's ridiculous.  but the joy of freezing moments is priceless.    

so, maybe in the future, i will do underwater photography.  and i will dream about beautiful underwater gadgets.  but right now, i will have to concentrate on learning, and honing my diving skills.  and make do with a disposable underwater camera.

this space.

there is always a space in one's heart for asking and accepting forgiveness, for shaking hands, and starting over. 

there is always a space in one's heart to understand, to try and walk in somebody else's shoes. 

there is always a space in one's heart to linger in silence — silence before getting angry or passing judgment.  a space where ill-feelings are processed into peaceful communication and good thoughts.

there is always a space in one's heart for more joys, for more laughters, for more friends, for more heartwarming moments.  a space always for one more.

dear G.

would you be so mad at me if i told you i wrote the number one newspaper, told them to check out your sites, and feature you?

i just think that the entire planet should know how beautifully you write, how your blog has inspired many, how you made bad days a bit lighter by making us laugh with your wit and stories.  i think that your place is out there, where millions of people could read you, where the spotlight is focused on you.

dear G, if you'd be mad, then i won't tell you.  *grin*

ps. actually, i haven't sent the email yet, but i'm about to push the send button. 
ps2. this is my way of asking permission. haha.