this afternoon, i was already typing two paragraphs of thoughts (over at multiply) when i decided i didn't want to publish it. i've been typing replies to my friends' blogs but decided in the last moment to not put my cent's worth of thoughts out there. just some minutes ago, i was typing a YM message to a friend to tell her about a new website i found which i think she'll love. just when i finished typing, i thought: naaah, never mind.
i'm holding back. i'm trapping my thoughts in my head.
i just want to be still for a moment because somehow, we've become so quick to anger, quick in pointing fingers, quick in making excuses. i want to clear my mind a bit because i've been complaining about little things in my life, while the people i care about are sad and grieving for the loss of their loved ones. and when i think of them, and imagine what pains they are going through, the things i complain about seem so trivial. and sometimes, i want to bang my head on the wall for complaining and ranting.
so, i'll stay here, clear my mind, and be still.
baden asked me the other night about my recent achievements. she wanted to write an article about me for her journalism class and submit it to a daily in cebu. for a moment i panicked. why me?
of course, i didn't give her permission to write about me. the first article she wrote, sunstar published it. so, what are the chances the article she's supposed to write (about me) will NOT get published?
let famous people have that space. =P
she stood infront of him in her bridesmaid gown.
her: how do i look?
him: you're perfect.
her: i think i'll marry you.
i'm looking forward to the day i'll be dancing. on stage.
big red flower on my hair and black flamenco shoes on my feet.
i will dance with absolute passion, complete abandon.
it was during our movie marathon when sharon told me she was leaving for africa. i was both happy and sad. happy, because she's embarking into something different, into a new world which will give her new experiences. sad, because i will miss her. she's the only person who could actually convince me to watch two to three movies in one night. no, let me change that. she's the only person who could convince me to watch judy ann santos.
i will miss her. i will miss one of the very few people i'm comfortable sharing my secrets with. she's just the type of person who is so open-minded, i know i wouldn't be judged, no matter what i do or say. and i will miss her honesty, her hirits, her intelligent take on things.
*
another friend of mine, emay, left for bangladesh. and i'm missing her already. her laughter, her thoughtfulness. it just feels so weird not having her around. then again, this bangladesh stint will do her good. i just know. and i know she will have lots of stories to tell when she comes home.
*
rissa might (just might) leave for bangkok. it's wonderful how this development work has placed my friends all over the world. although i'll miss them, i'm also very proud of them. i'm already looking forward to hearing their stories. and maybe, visit them wherever they are. and then, we'd shop and sit in a cafe somewhere, exchange stories, like we always do.
